Can't Stand the Heat

What is it with cooking as battle? I just saw a promo for some new program called "The Chopping Block," where the visuals are all young cook-lets in tears and a blowy-haired guy in a chef's jacket intoning threating one-liners like, "The only time I want to be around sheep is when I'm eating them." And, of course, he has some sort of generic Anglo accent, which seems to be de rigeur for these things. Are they all Simon wanna-be's?

I'm a pretty good cook, and I honed my skills in my own kitchen, which tends to be pretty friendly, I think. I doubt that I could win one of these stupid food wars, but I think my guests will digest their food better than the people who have to endure these dressed-up food fights.

I don't want to go all feminista here, but, what is it with these guys? I don't see a lot of women hosting programs that specialize in destroying egos for dinner. (The closest I can come is those cute little British ladies on the Clean Team who gently chide families for failing to clean their bathrooms for years at a time and who then teach them how to do it properly and without destroying the environment.)

I'm just saying that cooking is not supposed to be hostile, any more than dinner is supposed to be "manufactured." If you run a nasty kitchen then I guess that reflects poorly on your own managerial skills and you should be ashamed. I know that I only get tense in the kitchen if I have failed to plan carefully or start early enough or have bitten off more than I can chew, in a manner of speaking.

So, get over it, television kitchen guys. You're ruining our digestion.